The Kanamo Conundrum
A recent study about the Mid-Cingulate cortex, situated in the cerebral cortex, shows that it plays a vital role in attention, awareness, thought, and consciousness. The study dealt with pain processing (not only physical pain but emotional and situational pain as well). When we deliberately expose ourselves to uncomfortable situations, the size of the Mid-Cingulate cortex tends to increase. The scientists suspect this part of the study gives much-needed clarity about the nature of willpower.
What is WILLPOWER?
Someone often needs x amount of willpower to accomplish a specific task, which is generally considered tricky. To simplify, a task that makes us uncomfortable or diligent can be overcome with willpower. A passion can initiate will, love can and even hatred. Passion, love, or hate can be amalgamated into a single emotion, of course, but love or hatred can occur without passion, but that's a different and vast topic. The point I am trying to make is an emotion can evoke passion and vice-versa, and ultimately, that passion can produce will, which is not something abstract, as pointed out in the study above, but a physical thing that can be controlled.
The story I am about to tell interlinks emotions, passion and willpower.
The year was 2022, and we were witnessing summer offset in one of India's highest inhabited villages, Kibber (4270m). We had planned a trek for a long time, starting from here, but the weather did not seem to be in our favour. Not that I was complaining; over time, Kibber has become like one of our homes, primarily because of my beloved aunty who lives here, and of course, it's gorgeous. So, Surabhi and I decided to climb a non-technical peak, Mt Kanamo, which lies behind Kibber. This extravagant peak stands at an altitude of 5964m, and the trek is relatively easy considering its height. We decided to climb it in one day from Kibber back to Kibber. Little did we know, this peak was about to test our willpower and shatter our egos to bits. Spoiler alert: we didn’t make it.
The first mistake, we started very late. Our planned and ideal time to start was 4 a.m., but we started at 6:30 a.m. when the sun was already on the horizon. That two hours and thirty minutes cost us our peak. Indeed, it was cold at 4270m during mid-September, but the main reason was we were lazy and lacked the willpower to wake up early in the cold. As we started to hike, everything felt smooth, and we maintained a reasonable speed; we were confident that we would make up for the lost time. The thing is, I am a photographer, and I need to spend time with the landscape to feel it and make photographs that intrigue me; that is my process, and I like it. So, no matter my speed, time is handy for this purpose, which we had minimal that day.
The second mistake is that the route consists of a 60-70° wall of scree and boulder moraine, which requires a particular approach. If one tries to push straight up, one can quickly exhaust themselves. Yes, you guessed it right: we pushed straight up and spent ourselves due to the lack of judgment and time constraints. Still, a significant amount of the trek was left, and the altitude rose with the rising gradient. It was already 2 p.m., and we were miserably slow, and as happens in such altitudes, the wind picked up in the afternoon, which made it difficult even to stand. At 3:40 p.m., 5747 metres, we had to make a difficult decision to fall back. The mountain got the best of us and seized our minds.
The thing about failure is we are never prepared for it. We continually train for the wins but not the failures, which is equally important, if not more important. We were disappointed with our setback and exhausted after this endeavour, but we wanted to finish what we had started. This is the stage where our mind tells us to stay where we are comfortable and convinces us that what we are trying to achieve is not worth the effort. This is the same stage where our passion and love take a back seat, and all we are left with is our WILL. The good thing about failure is it allows us to introspect, which we will never do if we win. We chose to do it; we decided to suffer again not because of our passion, but if we did not, it would take us back to the hole from where we had started our journey; that act of conserving ourselves was willpower.
So, here we are, climbing Mt. Kanamo again and this time summiting it. Also, this time, we were more tactical and did not aim to climb on the same day. We camped one day at the base and were accompanied by our excellent friend Tanzin to the base. He shared his vast knowledge of flora and fauna, which we thoroughly enjoyed, and explored the area further from the trail. The next day, we were at the summit of Mt. Kanamo, with some spectacular views of summits from Ladakh, Spiti, Kullu and Kinnaur. Standing at the top of the summit was indeed a present.
His was the story of Mt. Kanamo Conundrum and the teachings that it gave me. I hope you have enjoyed it. Until the next story, I take your leave.
